Southside Center for Violence Prevention

Domestic Violence is a crime. It happens in many ways: coercion, emotional abuse, isolation, withholding money, sexual abuse, and so on. The abuser can be a family member, spouse, boyfriend, or a live-in-partner who wants to control the victim. Domestic violence can happen to anyone! One in 3 women report being a victim of domestic violence at some point in their lifetime.

Warning Signs

It can sometimes be difficult to tell if someone is in an abusive relationship. It can even be difficult for a victim to realize she or he is in an abusive relationship. Those who are abused, and those who abuse others, come in all personality types from all different backgrounds. Most people experiencing violence from someone close to them do not tell others about it. So how do you know? Here are some signs to look for:

• Verbal Abuse, name calling, constant criticisms or humiliation.
• Bruises and Injuries: she can't explain or makes weak excuses for them.
• Controlloing Behavior: abuser constantly asks about activities, calls her at work all day, checks car mileage, and listens in on her phone calls, manages all the finances and monitors her spending.
• Extremely Jealous and Possessive: he accuses her of flirting or having affairs.
• She is fearful or quiet when he is around.
• Behavior of the Children: worsens, get into trouble at school, quiet and withdrawn and don't get along with others.

Planning for Safety

If someone you know is planning to leave an abusive relationship or to take any legal or financial steps to separate, you must plan carefully and comprehensively for safety.

• If there is immediate danger, call 911 or arrange a signal with a neighbor or a friend to call 911.
• Hide money, spare keys, and a small bag of clothes for you and your children at work or at a friend's house. Include a favorite toy for each child.
• Gather or copy important documents (passports, birth certificates, social security cards, insurance papers, work permits or green cards, car titles, deeds, leases, checkbooks and account numbers). Hide these papers at work or at a friend's house. Know the abuser's social security number, birth date and place of birth.
• Document the abuse by takeing photos of injuries, get copies of your medical records, threatening voicemails or e-mails and keep in a journal. This will be helpful if you decide to take legal action in the future.
• Obtain a protective order. It prohibits the abuser from contacting, attacking, sexally assaulting or calling you, your children and other family members. Carry a copy with you at all times.
• Inform your employer about your situation and set up a safety plan at work. Share a photo and description of the abuser and any legal documentation, such as a protective order.